{I am going to have to take a long boat to China to get to my point here, but please bear with me…}

March 21st–Today is not only Caleb’s birthday it was also my Papaw Spurlock’s birthday.  Caleb was lucky enough to share two birthday’s with his great grandpa, the day of his birth and his first birthday.  Unfortunately Caleb remembers neither, but I will always treasure those birthdays!  Papaw was so proud of the fact that his first great grandchild shared his special day. My grandpa also was blessed with having his son’s birthday the day before his.  My Uncle Glen’s birthday is the 20th.  Since my grandpa’s death in 2000, Glen had made a point to celebrate his and Caleb’s birthday together.  It means a lot to both Glen and Caleb.

As we were getting ready for Glen and Caleb’s birthday party yesterday all of us had my grandpa on our minds.

{Pause for some back story–my grandparents lived in a house right off the main drag of town for years…most of my memories are of them living in this house.  It has been 10 years since they passed away but I still feel a tinge of pain when I drive by that house.  A new Rite-Aid is soon going to be built on this property and they are going to tear down all of the houses on the block and my grandparents old house is one of them.  OK back to where I was…}

My mom called me as she was heading to the store to pick up a few things for the party and told me that they were taking the fence down at my grandparents old house. She said it looked like they had started to cut down the tree in the back yard too.  (A tree that we had helped plant!)  Well, they were cutting down the tree so they could move the storage shed out that Glen had built for my grandparents.  And of all days to watch it start!  Dad was setting looking out the front window and he saw the shed go by on a flat bed truck and a bit later he saw the fence go by too.  The slow dismantling of their house is like slowing pulling off a band-aid.  Please come in and tear it down and get it over with… Just rip it off quickly!

While watching the news the other day Josh and I saw a clip piece on the big news stories from that last decade.  9-11, Katrina, and Obama topped the list of life changing events.  With tears in my eyes I asked Josh where 10 years had gone.   The last decade was a big one for Josh and I.  Our lives are not even remotely where they were in 1999!  Our biggest fear were computers crashing and the power going out when the clock struck midnight.  Little did we know!!!

Ten years ago we had been married for 3 years, Caleb wasn’t even a year old and I had all of my grandparents.  The last 10 years have held so many heart breaks for me.  In this past decade I lost my 2 grandpas and my Mamaw.  I lost my triplets to miscarriage, we lost Josh’s grandma, our first house and Josh had open heart surgery, just to name a few!

But amongst the lost we have had wonderful, great, awesome, life changing events too.  The birth of Brayden and Andrew.  The revile of God answering our prayers in our time of need.  Josh recovering  from his heart surgery in record time and doing better then we ever expected!  The addition of so many wonderful  people in our lives, like Margie and Beth.  And the reconnection with Manda, has been such a blessing!

We are nowhere close to where we were 10 years ago, but we are so much stronger in self and in faith then where we were a decade ago.  And I can’t wait to see what this next decade and God has in store for us.

Happy 2010!!!

Tonight is our county’s Relay for Life.  Manda has dragged included me in her Relay Team this year.  I have helped out with a Spaghetti dinner, bake sale and placed a few buckets at my Mom’s work and Josh’s.  I have really enjoyed being apart of helping raise money for this great cause.

Josh’s grandmother passed away in 2005 from leukemia.  Tonight we walk in memory of…tonight we walk for Sue… tonight like so many other nights we miss you grandma!!!

(Flash Back Post from November 23, 2006)

Mary “Sue” Wiseman
October 23, 1933 - November 23, 2005

A year ago today the world lost a wonderful person. She meant so much to so many people. She was truly one of those people this world has to few of, she was a Mother, Grandmother, Great Grandmother. She was a good friend, a hard worker and a joy to be around. I can’t put in to words what she meant to everyone but I can tell you what she meant to me.

It is going to be hard to find a starting point, so lets start from the beginning. She was the woman that raised my husband, she was the one that filled Josh with all that he is. She was his Grandmother and the best Mom to him anyone could be. The sacrifices she give for Josh and her family were immeasurable.

I loved to talk with Sue. We could talk forever on the phone. I can still hear her say ‘It’s just me, I’m only gonna keep you a minute…’ Well, it very rarely was just a minute….LOL!!! I loved to spend time with her. Before Josh and I were even married we would go to concerts together. She took me to see Alan Jackson at UT one time. We got there and in line to go in and she couldn’t find one of the tickets. She dug and dug in her purse, with no luck. So luckily they had a handful of tickets left and she bought one more. Now mind you they were $50.00 seats. And once we got out to the car after the concert, Sue reached in for the keys and pulled out the lost ticket…lol….She had had it the whole time. But we decided that Alan Jackson was worth every penny spent.

The support and help she lent us was invaluable while Josh was laid off for six months and our Caleb was born 4 weeks early and had a NICU stay. She spend all night with Josh in Toledo Hospital the first night that they took him. All the while her mother was very sick back home. Caleb was born on Sunday night, and she would make trips to the NICU and to the Nursing Home. One Wednesday night after Josh and I, had just spent the day in the NICU, we stopped by to see Grandma Motter and Sue. Sue looked so tired that night.. We had no sooner got home until the phone rang. Grandma Motter had passed on. That week we buried Grandma Motter and brought home our now, healthy baby boy. Sue was so strong. What a strong person she was.

In 2000 I lost three grandparents with in three months time. I really took the loss of my Grandma Spurlock hard. While talking and crying one day with Sue, I told her ‘my Grandma Spurlock is gone and my Grandma Smith is so far away in SC“. I felt so much pain right then. I will never forget her words to me. “Shana, I will be your grandma, I love you“. From that day on, Sue was my Grandma, not just an in-law!!!

Later that same year I became pregnant with triplets. Wow!!! Three baby’s not even trying…lol…and we still had one in diapers. The news was overwhelming, but still a blessing. Until a few weeks later, I miscarried them. Sue was always the one who understood my loss the most. That year and every year after she would give to me an ornament with three angels on it. She never forgot my pain. And I believe she felt it right along with me.

So many wonderful memories I have of her, to many to list them all. But today, a year from her death, and Thanksgiving 2006, I have to say one of the greatest things I am thankful for today, is having had her in my life for the time I did.

We miss you Grandma!!!

It has been over eight years since the loss of my grandparents.  Over eight years!  This week-end we went though the last of my Papaw and Mamaw’s belongings.

We opened the lid to the green truck full of their memories.  The trunk was full of pictures, two of my Mamaw’s bibles, her year book, diploma, old diary, old blank checks from my Papaw’s painting business, baby shoes, old newspapers, things of this nature.  Some held memories for my dad and Glen; things like handmade Mother’s Day or Father’s Day cards, notes written home while they stayed for a week or two in WV with Granny and Poppy, things from their childhood.  Some held memories for my Mom and Dad, marriage announcement clippings from the newspaper, wedding pictures, things from the church when my Papaw Smith was the pastor.  Some held memories for me like my Glow Worm from when I was a little girl or some pictures of Josh and I when we first started dating.  And then there were the things that no one knew why they were kept.  Old newspapers that must of held some sort of importance to them.  Christmas cards from people no one really remembered.

Funny how this box took a lifetime to fill and only a couple of hours to go through and divided into piles of who may want what.  Funny how what was so important to them holds no understanding of why to us.  Just makes me realize that the only thing we take with us from this world to the next is our salvation, or lack there of!  The rest is left behind for others to dig through and decided what is important and what is not.

I lovingly brought home my treasures from the green trunk.  I have them upstairs in my room and I stack of pictures to scan into my computer to save for all time.  I will tuck all of them away in a trunk of my own knowing that someday my family will dig though it and wonder why I kept the things I did.   :o)

**The pictures in this post are (from top - bottom) –My Papaw and Mamaw, Jim and Doris Spurlock, at a Valentine’s Dinner for Church (1996) –My Mamaw’s 7th grade picture (1947) –Mamaw, Papaw and I painting (1979) –and the little boy in the picture is my Papaw with his Grandma (my great-great grandma) on the left.  There is no date but I would assume that it is early ’40’s.**

Early this morning, while the West Virgina sky was still dark, my Great Aunt Nellie, passed away. She had family around her as she took her last breath. The emotion I feel is quite complicated. So many things rushed through my head last night when my mom called to say that she wouldn’t make it though the night.

The first thought was of my Mamaw. This was her older sister. Had Mamaw still been alive she would of been very upset. Sadly though she is not. I feel rather cheated when it comes to that. My Granny (her mother) lived to be past 90, and Nellie was 86. My Mamaw died when she was only 65.

Then I thought of my Aunt Judy. She has lost all three of her sisters. That must be so hard. And to make things worse there is a complicated relationship between the two of them.

Then the childhood memories came rushing in. HUGE family dinners in my Granny’s kitchen, everyone gathered around the tables eating, talking, laughing. Oh, how I miss those times!!!

Then I remembered setting at my Aunt Judy’s table after my Granny’s funeral. I remember her saying “Now that mommy is gone, you guys won’t visit hardly ever.” I was 19 at the time, just married and had no children yet, I thought that she was crazy. “I will visit Judy.” I am ashame to share that I have only been back five times since 1997.

When I laid my head down last night I paused to say a prayer for Nellie. It is hard to find the words to pray for someones death. REALLY HARD! While I searched for the right words, a peace came over me and a sweet thought filled my head. My Mamaw would be waiting at the gates for her big sister. She would be reunited with Nellie. What a good and happy day it was for them both.

I hadn’t seen Nellie for quite a few years. Years and moments that I will never get back. I can’t seem to figure out a way to attend Nellie’s funeral. The time isn’t right, right now. But I am praying that I can get to West Virgina this summer to visit with my family and to spend time in one of my favorite places on earth.

Please say a prayer for my family as they mourn the loss of their wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, sister, aunt, friend…

*updated — I did in fact get to go to WV for the funeral. I will post soon about it.*

7 years ago at this time my life had been pretty consistent. I hadn’t had a lot of unhappiness in my life. Josh and I had been married for just about three years and Caleb was a wonderful addition to our family. And on the 4th of May we joined my Grandma Spurlock in celebrating her 65th birthday. I remember that day like it was just yesterday. The weather was warm. Caleb was playing in the cool, green grass in my Mom and Dad’s yard. We had a family meal and instead of cake my Mom had made a strawberry desert for my Grandma. It was one of the last joyful, happy days I had during the whole year of 2000.

Me and my family had no idea of the roller coaster ride our lives were about to take. And I had no way of knowing that my life was going to change forever. On the 6th of May my brother called me with the dreadful news. My Grandpa Smith had passed away in his sleep, due to a massive heart attack. My Papaw was gone. We made the necessary plans and packed up the van and made the long trip to SC to gather with family and bury my Papaw.

Upon coming home I drifted through the next few days, the pain still so strong. One evening, I was at my parents house along with my Grandma and Grandpa Spurlock, we spent the evening looking at photo albums and talking about “the past”. We ending the night with my Grandma buying Caleb his first Ice Cream cone. {This was one of those few joyful days I was referring to above} The next morning, May 25th, I got the phone call from my Mom. She was at the hospital with my Grandma Spurlock, she was very sick and Life Flight was coming to transport her to Toledo. My Mamaw had a massive brain aneurysm. She laid in a hospital bed for a week on life support until she contracted phenomena and passed away.

My life was now in constant pain and hurt. How could this happen??? I had lost two Grandparents in just three weeks. I was numb, and I thanked God everyday for Caleb. He was my reason to keep going. Not only was I hurting and sad over the loss, I was hurting watching my Mom and Dad grieve over their loss. My Mom lost her Daddy and my Dad lost his Mommy. My Grandparents lost their spouses of close to 50 years. Our family was broken!

Two weeks passed and my phone rang once again. This time my Grandpa Spurlock was in the hospital and he was being transported via Life Flight to Toledo due to Congestive Heart Failure. While there he had been given over 40 minuets of life saving CPR. He struggled for days in the hospital until they decided to send him home and bring in Hospice. I lost my Papaw on a hot August night. With in 9 short weeks I lost three Grandparents. By this point in time I was beyond numb. I remember crying tears but not really feeling ANYTHING. I had nothing left to feel, I had cried for so many weeks, I had given all I had.

Now amongst the sickness and deaths that year my Mom had surgery that kept her down for 4 weeks, my Dad’s MS worsened and he spent close to a week in the hospital, my baby brother went off to collage and I suffered through my miscarriage.

Seven years has since passed since that roller coaster ride. Most of the time I can push the pain back and move on with my life. Cause lets face it, life does go on! But some days, like today while remembering my Mamaw’s birthday, it still hurts like it just happened yesterday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMAW, YOU ARE SO MISSED!!!This is a picture that was taken at Josh and I’s wedding on July 4th 1997.
We have since lost everyone in this picture except for my Grandma Smith.
(Grandma & Grandpa Spurlock, Grandma & Grandpa Smith, Shana, Josh, Great-Grandma Motter and Grandma Wiseman)

Mary “Sue” Wiseman
October 23, 1933 - November 23, 2005

A year ago today the world lost a wonderful person. She meant so much to so many people. She was truly one of those people this world has to few of, she was a Mother, Grandmother, Great Grandmother. She was a good friend, a hard worker and a joy to be around. I can’t put in to words what she meant to everyone but I can tell you what she meant to me.

It is going to be hard to find a starting point, so lets start from the beginning. She was the woman that raised my husband, she was the one that filled Josh with all that he is. She was his Grandmother and the best Mom to him anyone could be. The sacrifices she give for Josh and her family were immeasurable.

I loved to talk with Sue. We could talk forever on the phone. I can still hear her say ‘It’s just me, I’m only gonna keep you a minute…’ Well, it very rarely was just a minute….LOL!!! I loved to spend time with her. Before Josh and I were even married we would go to concerts together. She took me to see Alan Jackson at UT one time. We got there and in line to go in and she couldn’t find one of the tickets. She dug and dug in her purse, with no luck. So luckily they had a handful of tickets left and she bought one more. Now mind you they were $50.00 seats. And once we got out to the car after the concert, Sue reached in for the keys and pulled out the lost ticket…lol….She had had it the whole time. But we decided that Alan Jackson was worth every penny spent.

The support and help she lent us was invaluable while Josh was laid off for six months and our Caleb was born 4 weeks early and had a NICU stay. She spend all night with Josh in Toledo Hospital the first night that they took him. All the while her mother was very sick back home. Caleb was born on Sunday night, and she would make trips to the NICU and to the Nursing Home. One Wednesday night after Josh and I just spent the day in the NICU, we stopped by to see Grandma Motter and Sue. Sue looked so tired that night.  We had no sooner got home until the phone rang. Grandma Motter had passed on. That week we buried Grandma Motter and brought home our now, healthy baby boy. Sue was so strong. What a strong person she was.

In 2000 I lost three grandparents with in three months time. I really took the loss of my Grandma Spurlock hard. While talking and crying one day with Sue, I told her ‘my Grandma Spurlock is gone and my Grandma Smith is so far away in SC“. I felt so much pain right then. I will never forget her words to me. “Shana, I will be your grandma, I love you“. From that day on, Sue was my Grandma, not just an in-law!!!

Later that same year I became pregnant with triplets. Wow!!! Three baby’s not even trying…lol…and we still had one in diapers. The news was overwhelming, but still a blessing. Until a few weeks later, I miscarried them. Sue was always the one who understood my loss the most. That year and every year after she would give to me an ornament with three angels on it. She never forgot my pain. And I believe she felt it right along with me.

So many wonderful memories I have of her, to many to list them all. But today, a year from her death, and Thanksgiving 2006, I have to say one of the greatest things I am thankful for today, is having had her in my life for the time I did.

We miss you Grandma!!!